Father’s Day is just a few days away and I’m seeing posts on my timeline about  Father’s Day gift ideas and pictures of people with their fathers. Every Father’s Day I can’t help but to reflect on the relationship I have with my father. Growing up I wanted to be daddy’s little girl but never really had the chance to be because he checked out when I was 9 years old.

I honestly can’t remember seeing him often while I was growing up other than birthdays and occasional visits.

Child support court was how I didn’t forget his face and the phone is what kept me from forgetting his voice. He didn’t even call that much and at some point I would see him less and less. Weeks became months, Months became years. 

I never got the chance to be daddy’s little girl and often wondered what it was like to have a father be consistent in my life.

Growing up, a father’s love often looked like:

Occasional visits

Inconsistent phone calls

Below average birthdays

And A father’s love often felt like:

Broken promises

Inconsistency

Rejection

At some point, I went from having a desire to have a relationship with my father to not having a desire at all.

Why didn’t he want to be in my life? I often asked myself.

This lead to forming false, fragmented views of myself based on how my father treated me. I didn’t like myself because if my dad liked me then why would he leave me? I didn’t love myself because if my dad didn’t love me why should I love me? I never realized how much this affected my self-esteem until I got older.

It took years for me to realize I actually had a father and was Daddy’s Little Girl all along. I had no idea what a father’s love truly felt like until I found God and let him into my life and my heart.

What does a father’s love look & feel like? , You may ask.

He shows me unconditional love, which helped me learn to love myself and others. He corrects me when I am wrong but loves me completely. His love for me never changes. (Romans 5:8, Hebrews 12:6)

He keeps his commitments and his promises are not broken. He is consistent. (Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 55:11)

No matter what has happened in my life, he was there for me (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5)

He listens to me when I talk. He doesn’t ignore me or make me feel undervalued. (Psalm 18:6)

He helps me see that I am perfectly created in his image (Genesis 1:27)

He wants nothing but the best for me

This list can go on and on because his love is everlasting.

Knowing God as my father has helped me forgive my natural father. I now have a better
relationship with him and understand that he could not be what he didn’t know how to be or have the capacity to be to me at the time.

With Father’s Day approaching in just a few days, I celebrate both fathers for giving me life and my Abba, Father for being the best father I could ever have. If you have had a strained relationship with your natural father, know that your heavenly father has always been there and will always be there for your every need. He will heal you, restore you and give you peace that will replace any pain that your natural father may have caused. Be encouraged!

I hope you enjoyed this post. Until next time…

Love, 

        Leigh C

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